


Your Eyes Shine Brighter Than The Stars

by shit_happens_bitchachos7



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anxiety Disorder, College AU, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Depression, Homophobia, M/M, Manipulation, Physical Abuse, Swearing, WARNINGS:, god help me idk how tags work, idk where this fic is going, if i need to tag more just let me know, logan has a crush on roman, patrick is patton's ex abusive bf, please give me feedback, virgil and logan are twins, virgil has a crush on patton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2019-06-24 11:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shit_happens_bitchachos7/pseuds/shit_happens_bitchachos7
Summary: Patton is assigned a new roommate, Roman, and he is excited to make a new friend. However, due to some traumatic things that happened a year before, his friends  - Logan, Virgil, and Remy - are very protective of him and suspicious of Roman.Roman, on the other hand, finds himself slowly adapting to this peculiar group, and slowly falling for Logan.But what is going to happen when each of the men's pasts come back to haunt them?





	1. Roommates and Realisations

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Sanders Sides fanfic, so if it's ooc I am really sorry, I did the best I could. I hope you enjoy it and you're more than welcome to comment and give me constructive criticism if you have any. Enjoy!

Virgil was sitting on his bed, with his back against the wall, fidgeting. He couldn’t help but worry about this situation. He hadn’t foreseen that Patton’s former roommate, Thomas, would move out this year to live with his boyfriend. Of course he was happy for Thomas, but he was also worried for Patton. That little puffball of a guy was his best friend, but his heart was too big for his own good sometimes. What if the new roommate was rude, or violent? What if –

“Virgil. Virgil!”

“Huh? What?” he replied, confused to have his thoughts interrupted.

Logan sighed. He saw Virgil quietly playing with his fingers, focused on the repetitive action, so he knew something was wrong. Logan always thought that if he didn’t have his twin brother he would be even more useless when it came to feelings. Fortunately for both of them, Logan learned from Virgil the proper way to deal with panic attacks, and basic acts of compassion, and Virgil learned from his twin to be more grounded and not let negative thoughts get to him. Well, most of the times at least. Logan was so grateful for his brother, and he was capable of anything to keep him safe.

“I can see that you are overthinking again, brother,” said Logan, gently adjusting his glasses, a habit he was displaying when he was faced with situations where emotions were involved. “I understand how this situation could heighten your anxiety, but there is no way to tell what kind of person Patton’s new roommate will be before we meet him.”

“But what if he will hurt Patton? You know he is a sensitive guy, and he’s too nice to everyone! What if that new dude will take advantage of it? Then I will have to fight that guy, and you know I can’t punch for shit.” said Virgil, gesticulating in a dramatic fashion.

“I understand your concern, and if that _is_ the case, then we will – as they say – ‘burn that bridge when we get to it’.”

Virgil snorted. Logan always managed to insert a new expression he’d just learned into conversations, but almost all the time it was either unfit for the context or outdated. That made the anxious man calm down a little.

“Dude, I think you meant ‘we’ll _cross_ that bridge when we get to it’”

“Really? I _thought_ it didn’t make much sense, why would anyone burn down a perfectly functional bridge?” basically yelled Logan, now shuffling distressed through his vocabulary cards. A light knock on the door interrupted Virgil’s sassy response, and a short man entered the room.

“A bridge burned down? Well, now I can’t get over it!” he said excitedly.“What are you talking about, kiddos?”

Patton chuckled as Logan groaned at the pun and Virgil snorted. The man was looking as happy as he always did, his eyes shining behind the glasses. It seemed like nothing could ruin his sunny disposition. The twins knew better though. They’ve seen Patton have mental breakdown a few times before, due to his depression and tendency of covering up his sadness with a smile. 

They met Patton almost a year ago, when he knocked on their door to introduce himself as their next-door neighbor in the dorm building. Even though at first he seemed like the complete opposite of the twins, the three of them had forged a real friendship in no time. Patton also introduced them to his roommate-at-the-time, Thomas, who also befriended the twins. But now Thomas had moved out, and Patton was going to be assigned a new roommate.

“Actually, we were talking about your new roommate.” Logan replied. “Virgil is worried about the kind of person he is going to be. He doesn't want you to get hurt.”

“Awww, it is so sweet of you to think of me, kiddo!”

“Not your kid, Pat.” noted Virgil doing finger guns at his best friend. “But yeah, we don’t know who this guy is! What if he is a serial killer? What if he kills all of us in our sleep? I don’t wanna die suffocated!”  

“Death due to deprivation of oxygen would be unfortunate, and also highly improbable. You are jumping to conclusions again, Virgil.” stated Logan calmly.

“Yeah, Virge, everything is going to be alright! And you are very good at reading people, kiddo, I’m sure you will be able to see what kind of person he is when you meet him.” said Pat in a kind but firm tone, letting Virgil understand exactly what he meant.

That was the thing about Patton, he was really smart. While Logan knew a lot about sciences and cold hard facts, Patton’s wisdom lied most of the time in his interpersonal skills. He knew what to say in order to put others at ease, while still having a paternal authority over them. Even now, Patton managed to tell Virgil the same thing his twin did earlier, but in a more effective manner. Logan wished he could prove just as approachable as him. But he was not built like that. Knowing it didn’t make him feel any better, though.

Virgil sighed, mumbling ‘I guess...’ and blushing. It was no secret to Logan that his twin had a crush on Patton. The friendly man had many qualities that seemed to appeal to the other, and Logan couldn’t think of a better partner for his brother. One more reason to feel like he was lacking something really important in his life.

No, it was illogical of him to think like that. Of course he had all he needed! His roommate was his twin, which was a good arrangement for both of them considering they both had a hard time bonding with strangers. He was majoring in Astronomy, and he had made good friends in college. He didn’t need romance right now, it would only distract him from his plans for the future. 

A knock on the door interrupted Logan’s thought. The three men looked at the door confused, since no one besides Patton – and Thomas while he was still living in the building – ever interacted with them. Logan sat up and opened the door. Nothing in this world could have prepared him for this moment.

The first thing he noticed about the man in front of him was that he seemed very muscular. He didn’t get the chance to analyze more than that, because the man threw himself in Logan’s arms, hugging him. Logan heard his brother whisper “what the fuck...”under his breath. While he didn’t curse very often, Logan found that it was the perfect reaction to what was happening.

The stranger didn’t seem to catch on the fact that he had just invaded the other’s precious personal space, seeing as he continued to smile after he unwrapped himself from the hug. Even shocked by the sudden physical touch, Logan had to admit that this man was very aesthetically pleasing, starting from his well defined features, and continuing with his bright genuine smile, and his pronounced muscles, and –

“I’m Roman, your new roommate!” the stranger said, interrupting Logan’s thought. 

“Are you sure?” asked Virgil, irritated at the stranger. He knew physical contact was a delicate thing with Logan, and he was prepared to fight this massive guy for that. “This room is already full, you are probably looking for a different one. You know where the door is.” he snarked.  

“Wow, rude!” said Roman, surprised at the cold welcome this edgelord was giving him. “And this is room 108, right?” 

“This is 107 dude,” Virgil replied “And I am the rude one? Didn’t your mom teach you not to touch people without permission?”

Something clicked in place in Roman’s mind. His offended expression shifted into an apologetic one in a matter of seconds. 

“Oh, I am so sorry, I messed up so bad!” he addressed Logan. “Ah, my first day here and I have already ruined everything!” he said in a dramatic fashion. “Please accept my sincerest apologies... uhm...”

Logan stood petrified, still recovering from the unexpected physical contact this unfairly handsome man had subjected him to, so he didn’t realize Roman was talking to him. Lucky for him, Patton intervened at the right moment.

“I am Patton, your _actual_ roommate. Nice to meet you, kiddo! And these are Logan, and his twin brother Virgil.”

“Twins? But you guys look so different! Logan’s like a serious teacher, and Virgil is... an Emo Nightmare.”

“Oh... thank you.” Virgil grinned, visibly pleased with the description, and now less mad about the whole situation “I will use that from now on.”

Roman shifted again his gaze to Logan. He couldn’t believe he just scared this poor man – this poor _beautiful_ man. It was pretty obvious now that he wasn’t comfortable with physical contact, judging from the way he played compulsively with his watch, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

“C’mon, kiddo, let’s go to our room!” said Patton, grabbing Roman’s arm and guiding him towards the door. Logan needed time to recover, and a crowded room was not making it any easier on him, Patton knew that. 

Virgil stared at his brother for a minute after the other two left, but right when he wanted to say something Logan spoke.

“I hate him.” he said, not seeming to want to elaborate.

“What?” asked Virgil puzzled.

“This _Roman_ individual, I don’t like him! He- he thinks he can just _hug_ people out of the blue just because he has broad shoulders and muscular arms... And did you notice how _dramatic_ he is? He thinks he can just throw around Hollywood smiles and people would just forget how utterly _annoying_ he is!”

Logan was now all riled up, gesticulating angrily, and Virgil suddenly laughing at him didn’t help his state at all.

”What’s so funny?”

”Dude, you’re so into the new guy.”

“That’s – that’s ridiculous, have you heard _any_ word I just said?”

“Yeah, you kept mentioning how jacked up he is, and fanboying about his smile. You have the hots for Roman, bro.” said Virgil, barely keeping himself from laughing.

Logan seemed lost in thought for a couple of minutes, analyzing the situation. When he arrived at a conclusion all color drained from his face, as he whispered horrified:

“Oh,  _ shit _ .”


	2. Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild Remy appears
> 
> I don't think there are any particular warnings for this chapter, if there are please let me know so i can add them (same goes for triggers).

Roman couldn’t have been more disappointed in himself. He just wanted to be nice and get along with his new roommate, but he blew it. Not only that Patton now probably thought he was a freak who didn’t care about consent, but he also made the guys next door uncomfortable. Logan’s petrified face was going to haunt him forever. Why didn’t he pay more attention to the number on the door?

“You okay there, kiddo?” asked Patton, seeing that his new roommate didn't seem as cheerful now as he had been five minutes ago.

“Oh, I am completely fine, never better!” said Roman, plastering a fake smile on his face. As good as he was at acting, Patton knew how to spot fake smiles. He was seeing the same thing in the mirror on his bad days. 

“I don’t think it was that bad, you know? Logan was more surprised than anything, but he is a reasonable person, I am sure we will laugh about it soon.” Patton paused, giving Roman time to process it. “You confused us, but how did you know I would be okay with a hug?”

“Oh, I- when I got my key, a girl at the reception told me I was lucky to have you as my roommate because you are the friendliest person she knows and that you love hugs. She said you are shorter than me and that you wear glasses…” Roman sighed sadly. “And when I saw Logan I thought it was you. You know, with the glasses… Still, it doesn’t make it okay that I didn’t ask for permission first, you must think I’m a creep.” 

“Aw, don’t be sad, kiddo, you just made a mistake.” Patton reassured him. “Now, tell me more about yourself! What are studying? Oh, and are you allergic to anything, because I like to cook and I don’t want you to end up in the hospital because of me-” 

“Whoa, easy there, buddy. You need to breathe too.” the tall man chuckled, already feeling better. His roommate’s good disposition was really contagious! Roman straightened his back and lifted his chin, as one of his favorite subjects came up: himself. “Roman Prince, at your disposal!” He made a half bow at Patton, who giggled amused. “I study Performing Arts, I am on my way of becoming a triple threat! And no, I am not allergic to anything, as far as I know.” 

“You can act, sing,  _ and  _ dance? Whoaaa, you are so talented!” exclaimed Patton. “I am so glad we are roommates!” 

Roman’s cheeks flushed. He received compliments for his skills pretty often, but not all of them were this sincere. “Well, uhm- That’s really nice of you to say, Pat. Thanks.” 

_ Knock-knock. _

Roman and Patton looked at the door, following the source of the sound. Not only five seconds later, a man with purple bangs and dark eyeshadow opened the door for himself, like it was his own room.

“You ready, Pat? Rems is waiting for us downstairs, complaining as usual.” he said, not even acknowledging Roman’s presence. 

“Oh, silly me, I almost forgot it’s movie night!” said Patton. “Give me a few minutes, Virge.” 

“Yeah, I’ll just wait here-”

Virgil didn’t get to finish his sentence, as Patton walked over and dragged him into the room, making him sit on his bed. “Okay, then sit here until I get ready, kiddo.” the joyous man said before going into the bathroom. 

Roman bit his lip, trying not to laugh when he saw the deep shade of red on Virgil’s cheeks. He wondered if Patton knew his friend had a crush on him, surely he couldn’t be that oblivious, right? 

Virgil didn’t notice Roman staring at him because he was still recovering after Patton touched his hands when he guided him into the room. He didn’t have to do much to reduce him to a blushing mess, and Virgil hated himself for that. Patton was clearly fine with being just friends - not that the anxious man ever told him how he feels - and he should just move on and stop making things weird. Only if it were that easy… 

Roman cleared his throat to catch Virgil’s attention, but he was unsuccessful. The flustered man seemed to be lost in his thoughts, probably thinking about Patton. Oh, the poor bastard had it bad. He cleared his throat again, louder this time. Virgil turned his head towards him. 

“You wanted something?” he asked, raising his left brow. 

“I was just trying to get rid of something that was stuck in my throat.” he stated, not even trying to make the lie credible. 

“Was it your brain?” Virgil joked. 

Roman let out an offended gasp.“You have balls to mock me, _ Hot Topic _ !” 

“Aww, you think I’m hot,” he smirked, but put on a serious face right after. “Look, if this is about earlier-”

“It is-”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” he said before lowering his voice to almost a whisper “But pull something like that with my brother  _ again _ , and I swear I will kill you in your sleep.”

“Calm down, Doctor Doom, I just want to apologize.” frowned Roman. He really didn’t understand this guy, one moment he was all heart-eyes for Patton, looking like a puppy, and the next he was threatening him. Roman had to admit the man in front of him had enough passion in his soul to be an excellent villain. He already had the looks for it. “I realise I behaved like a jerk and-”

“How do I look?” almost yelled Patton, exiting the bathroom. With his hair half wet from the shower, he had replaced his blue polo shirt with a gray hoodie. Roman looked at the hood and saw it had cat ears. 

“You look adorable, man. I wish I could pull off a cat hoodie like you do,” chuckled Roman, earning a murderous look from Virgil. Apparently the latter was jealous.  _ Good to know _ , he thought. 

“Aww, thank you, Roman, you’re so sweet!” Patton squealed. “But didn’t you mean a- _ Dory- _ ble?” 

“Oh. My God. I love that!” exclaimed Roman excited at the Disney pun. 

“Oh. My. God. We’re late!” said a third, mocking voice belonging to a man in sunglasses. “Gossip time’s over, girls, let’s  _ go _ ! The movie starts in 20 minutes and we make 15 on the road.” He lowered the shades on his nose, checking  Roman out from head to toe. “Virge, you didn’t tell me Patton’s new roommate was  _ hot _ .” 

“Remy..!” warned Virgil. 

“I mean, I guess he is not exactly your type, adorable ones are more up your alley, right?” he said with a wink as pushed his shades back. 

“REMY!!” yelled Virgil, more terrified than angry. “I will take those sunglasses and shove them up your goddamn a-”

“Oh, please, you’re as dangerous as a newborn kitten, threats are not a good color on you, sweetie.” the sassy man retorted. 

Roman watched the exchange amused. He was doing his best not to laugh at the scene in front of him, since he knew this guy, Remy, was referring to Virgil’s crush on Patton. But he also felt bad for Virgil, he obviously had a hard time hiding his feelings, and being teased about your crush was never a pleasant experience. 

“Sassy guys who wear shades when it’s cloudy outside aren’t my type either, so you can stop eyefucking me.” said Roman staring at Remy without blinking. 

Remy stared back for a few seconds before the corner of his mouth lifted up in a smirk. “I like him.” he addressed the other two. “Now come on, girls, if we don’t go now we don’t go at all, and it would be a shame to have dressed up for nothing.”

“But that’s how you always dress, kiddo.” said Patton ignoring the scene he had just witnessed like it was something that occured on a daily basis.

“And the world is lucky to witness my excellent fashion sense.” he deadpanned “Can we  _ go _ ?”

The three men took their leave, Patton waving goodbye at Roman - seriously, how precious was this guy? - and the other two ignoring him altogether. What a strange combination these guys were, Roman thought. A ray of sunshine, an anxious emo, a sassy diva, and a nerd. 

Oh, no, for a few minutes he had completely forgotten about Logan. He had to let him know how sorry he is, he didn’t want to have someone hate him since his first day at the dorm! He will  make a grand gesture for this cute nerd -  _ ‘cute? Take it easy, Roman _ ’ - and all will be fine. But what should he do, he didn’t even know the guy! What if he messed up even more? 

“Come on, brain,  _ think _ ! You got me into this mess, you’ll get me out of it.” he said out loud, pacing through the room. “He’s a nerd, he has glasses, and a tie, and beautiful lips -  _ not the time for this, Roman _ ! There must be something I can do, but what?”

Roman was aware that he was talking to himself, and if someone were to enter right now, they would think he had completely lost it, but he found it easier to think when he let himself do it out loud. It felt like he was talking to an invisible audience, just like  in stage rehearsals. But this time it seemed useless! He prided himself in being creative, but now he had no idea what gesture would win Logan’s forgiveness. 

Roman sighed. He was tired from the road here, and everything that happened in the last hour had drained him of all the energy he had left. He needed some air. He walked over to the window and opened it, but just when he was ready to turn his back and resume his pacing, he heard something familiar, a poem being recited by a beautiful deep voice.  

_“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?_ __  
_Thou art more lovely and more temperate._ __  
_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,_ _  
_ __And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.”

 

Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18, of course! Roman remembered reciting Shakespeare back in high school, trying to find the perfect pace and tone for it. But this man was a natural, the words were spoken clearly and with so much feeling, Roman felt like he was floating. To whom did this mesmerizing voice belong? 

He listened to the man’s voice, paying attention to the direction it came from. But it couldn’t be… but it was clearly… and why not, after all? He might have not looked like it, but who said nerds couldn’t have a passion for poetry? Yes, Roman was positive, the beautiful voice belonged to Logan.  

 


	3. Apologies and Past Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: slight cursing?? i think?? mentions of an abusive relationship. mentions of violence.

“Where  _ the hell _ are you?!” yelled Roman at his suitcase. He had been searching through it for half an hour and he had yet to find what he was looking for. He was certain he put it somewhere in there when he packed, he wouldn’t have left without it! 

Or maybe it was a sign that he was doing something stupid. After all, that was a precious object for him and he was about to give it to a stranger. A handsome stranger, whom he had scared earlier, but a stranger nonetheless.

“Okay, Roman, one more try. If we don’t find it, then we are not supposed to give it away,” he told himself. 

Not knowing what was worse - find it and give it away, or not find it and have no way of showing Logan how sorry he was -, he sighed and removed again some of his belongings from the suitcase. And there it was, between two shirts on the bottom of the case. He took it in his hands. It looked even more little in his palm than it looked when he was a child. He had an entire collection at home, but this was his favorite one, which meant it was the perfect apology gift. 

Roman went straight to Logan’s room, not bothering to lock the door behind him. He hid the gift behind his back and knocked.

* * *

 

“Your new roommate seems cool, Pat,” said Remy, taking his eyes off the road for a couple of seconds to look at his friend. “Is he single though,? ‘Cause I would, like, totally hit that.” 

“I don’t know about that, you’ll have to ask him yourself, kiddo. But yeah, he’s really cool, he can sing, act, and dance!” 

“And he touches people without permission…” added Virgil, irritated. 

“Oh, come on, Virge, he just made a mistake. He is really sorry, and I am sure he will apologize to Logan next time he sees him.” replied Patton, trying to end the discussion there. He knew Virgil was trying to protect his brother, but Roman seemed genuinely sorry for making the serious man uncomfortable. 

“I’m just saying, he seems like an entitled jerk, and you said it yourself, he is an actor! How do you know he didn’t fake it? You’re a kind person, Pat, but-”

“I am kind, not stupid!” snapped Patton, shocking both Remy and Virgil. Patton getting mad was a rare event, but even he had his limits. He hated to yell at people, especially his friends, but he didn’t like it when others assumed he was naive just because he was choosing to give people a second chance. 

“Nobody said you’re stupid, pal, I-” intervened Remy, trying to fix the situation. Even though he often seemed like he didn’t care about anything, he was a softie at heart and he felt like it was his duty, as the oldest of the group, to keep these morons from fighting. 

“Please, Rem, don’t meddle in this one,” said Patton in a calm but dangerous tone “And, Virge, I know you didn’t mean that-”

“I’m sorry…” the man mumbled. 

“What the hell are you sorry for, V?” asked Remy all of the sudden. He wasn’t in a very patient mood today, and he certainly didn’t like it when Virgil apologized for something he didn’t even do. “And Patton, he’s right! You tend to put too much faith in everyone you meet. We’re only trying to protect you, girl, so don’t give us attitude, ‘kay?” 

Patton was sulking in his seat. He knew he shouldn’t have been so harsh on his friends, and now they probably  hated him. He didn’t know why they were still putting up with him and his moods, he wasn’t contributing with anything in the group. Logan was the smart one, Remy was the leader, and Virgil was the one keeping everyone from doing reckless and dangerous things. What was he doing for the others? He was always trying to support them in every way he could, but they would be fine without him anyway, so what was the point in keeping him around anymore? He felt tears building up in his eyes. 

“I was just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt…” he said, his voice almost a whisper. 

“Just like you did with Patrick?” Virgil spat out the name like it was poison. Bringing him up was cruel, he knew that, and if Patton chose to not speak to him ever again because of it, he wouldn’t blame him. He just didn’t want one of the people he cared about most in this world to make the same horrible mistake again.

Virgil thought Patton would yell at him for this. Remy thought he would close himself off. Patton did none of those things. Instead, he started crying. 

Remy sighed and put his shades on top of his head - another rare event - and said they were going back to the dorm. None of them was in the mood for a movie right now. He could see Virgil in the backseat trying to keep his tears back, reaching for the headphones around his neck to put them over his ears. No music could be heard from them, as he only wanted to cancel the noise of Patton’s crying. Going into a panic attack when Patton was having a mental breakdown because of him didn’t seem like a good idea.

* * *

 

Logan was surprised to hear a knock on his door a second time that day. He knew his brother was out with Patton and Remy, and since he wasn’t interested in the movie they were going to see, he refused their invitation for this outing. So who was disturbing his alone time? 

Part of him wished it was Roman. The handsome man had intrigued him, even though he didn’t appreciate the unwanted physical contact. But of course, it was foolish of him to want it to be Roman, he didn’t even know him! What if it  _ was  _ Roman? What would he do then? 

Logan adjusted his tie, trying to compose himself. He was overthinking this matter, and he wanted to believe he was above all that. He opened the door, but when he saw who was standing in front of him -  _ for the second time that day!  _ \- he wished that he hadn’t. 

“Hi. Uhm… I didn’t think you would be here, I thought you left with Virgil and the others.” said Roman, playing nervously with the object he had hidden behind his back. 

“Clearly you  _ did  _ know I would be here” stated Logan, seeing right through Roman. 

“What are y-”

“If you thought I left with the others, you wouldn’t have knocked on the door. Also, you are hiding something behind your back, and based on the… dramatic personality you have displayed here earlier, I guess you are trying to win my forgiveness with some object.” he explained. 

“You are  _ good _ !” said Roman, impressed by the man’s deductions. “You just saw right through me. A performance worthy of Sherlock Holmes himself!” 

Logan adjusted his glasses, pleased with the praise the beautiful man was giving him. How did the temperature increase all of the sudden? 

“So?” he asked, expectantly. 

“Ah, yes. You were right, I am on a quest to win your forgiveness, but I will not do so with an object. That one is merely a peace offering.” He smiled hopeful, as Logan hadn’t closed the door in his face yet.  _ Maybe this will actually work,  _ he thought. 

Logan was even more intrigued by Roman. He had a way with words, but not the way he himself did. He was talking like he was the prince from a fairytale who saves the princess in the end and marries her.  _ That would make me the princess _ , he thought, but quickly dismissed it. They weren’t characters in a story after all. 

“Can we do this inside, though? I promise I won’t touch you without permission again!” he added, scared that he almost ruined the apology he had prepared. “It’s just weird doing this here, I am blocking the most part of this narrow hallway, and if someone wanted to pass-”

“Ugh, just come in and stop the circumlocution,” he said, stepping to the side to make room for the other man to enter. 

“The  _ what _ now? Should I be offended?” he said, walking into the room. 

“Circumlocution is the use of an unnecessarily large number of words to express an idea.”

“You’re a weird dude. But in an interesting way!” he said, mentally cursing himself for speaking before thinking. There was something about Logan that made him forget how to function.. No doubt his secret weakness for nerd-looking guys. “I am terribly sorry for the way I acted earlier, it was a stupid idea to begin with. I confused you with Patton, and I was told he likes hugs, so I wanted to make a good impression. I guess I should have thought better about it.” 

“So you regret that you embarrassed yourself? This hardly sounds like an apology.” 

“Oh, no! Nononono! What I meant to say was... “  _ What the hell are you doing, Roman?  _ “I know I made you uncomfortable, and you have all the right to be mad at me. I regret putting you in that position, and the fact that it was not my intention to do so doesn’t excuse the fact that I did. We started this on the wrong foot, and I hope that you would forgive my barbaric behavior.” 

Logan was taken aback by the sincere and well-formulated apology. Nobody has ever told him such heartfelt words - not someone outside his family anyway. If, before Roman knocked on his door, he was just physically attracted to him despite his behavior, now Logan found himself being attracted to this man’s mind. For the serious man, that was a dangerous thing to be attracted to, he could develop actual feelings for him, and a relationship did  _ not _ fit in his five-year plan. Besides, how did he know Roman was even attracted to men? No, he will not fall into this emotional trap just to have his heart broken and his priorities altered. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have an amicable relationship with him.

“I accept your apology, Roman. It appears to be honest, so I believe you when you say that you feel remorse for your actions.” 

Roman sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness! I thought I made the situation worse with my circumvolution.” 

“Circumlocution,” corrected Logan. 

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” said Roman confused. 

“No, you said- Nevermind.” Logan had learned on his own that being a ‘know-it-all’, as some people called him, was only going to drive others away. “You said you had a ‘peace offering’, as you put it, meant for me?” 

“Ha, I almost forgot!” exclaimed Roman, taking the object from behind his back and offering it to Logan. He really hoped he will like it. 

“Is this… a leather bound William Shakespeare miniature book from the 1900’s?” asked Logan shocked, gently taking the book in his hands careful to not damage it. 

“It… actually is. Wow, I suspected you were a nerd, but I didn’t think you would actually recognize the book.” said Roman, chuckling. “I heard you reciting Sonnet 18 earlier, and I thought you would like it.” 

Logan turned a deep shade of red, as Roman noticed the first similarity between him and Virgil. The twins were not the identical kind, even though they did have certain features in common. For example, the way they blushed. The tall man was pleased to find he could elicit a similar reaction in Logan as Patton did in Virgil. Roman also reddened at the thought, as he realized he wouldn’t mind making this man blush more often. 

“I didn’t realize I was reciting loud enough for others to hear.”

“Well, I didn’t mind hearing it, Logan. You are a talented reciter.” He looked at Logan who was quietly stroking the cover of the book, trying - and failing - to hide his blush. “Are you, by any chance, studying Theatre?” 

“Oh, no, I don’t indulge in professional make-believe,” he said, daring to look Roman in the eyes even though he was aware of the red tint on his face. “I am majoring in  Astronomy. What about you?” 

“Professional make-believe?!” he asked, incredulously. “I’ll have you know that acting is an  _ art _ , not a children’s game! It requires _ skill  _ and  _ dedication, _ just like  _ any  _ other job!” 

“I apologize, Roman, I did not mean any offense-”

“I KNOW!” he interrupted loudly. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to yell at you, I just got carried away. Acting is my passion!” 

“Really? I would have never guessed.” deadpanned Logan. 

“Ha! You  _ do _ have a sense of humor!” said Roman, grinning so widely his cheeks hurt. He really liked this guy, even though he seemed a little stiff at first. Roman casually wondered if they would make a cute couple. Well, that was a problem for another day. He didn’t want to scare off Logan after finally managing to get back in his good graces. 

Roman excused himself, saying he had to unpack - which was kind of true, except his belongings were not packed anymore but scattered around the room. He reached for the doorknob and opened the door, revealing a distressed Patton with traces of tears on his face. Patton, however, didn’t seem to have registered his presence yet. Logan walked past Roman and put a hand on the upset man’s arm, guiding him inside the room. Patton followed him absent-minded, still not processing what was happening around him. Logan spoke in a gentle voice, but the alarmed undertone didn’t escape Roman’s ears: “Patton, what happened?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here I am again with a new chapter! I hope you liked it and don't hesitate to leave a comment! Constructive criticism welcome. If you are too shy to comment, let me know what you think by sending me a message/ask on my tumblr @shit-happens-bitchachos  
> 


	4. Fake smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention of abusive relationship and emotional manipulation  
> (let me know if there are others)

Remy parked the car in front of the dorm building. Even though the engine had been turned off for a couple of minutes, neither of the men made a move to get out of the vehicle. Patton had already stopped crying before they arrived, and now he was staring at his own hands, too embarrassed to say anything. Virgil, on the other hand, kept looking nervously from Patton to Remy, with his headphones still on. 

“Pat, why don’t you go to your room?” said Remy putting his shades back on. “Virgil and I will join you later, ‘kay?” 

Patton simply nodded, not looking either of them in the eye. The fact that he was sent away while the other two remained in the car did nothing but reinforce his belief that they hated him. Yes, they hated him so much they couldn’t even tolerate him anymore. How did he mess up so badly? He had no right to get mad at Virgil for mentioning Patrick, he knew he had been naive to believe that guy last year, to let him into his life. If it was just Patton’s life that had been affected, he would have accepted his ex-boyfriend’s behaviour. But Patrick went too far and tried to hurt his friends, and he could not accept that  _ ever _ . 

The harm had already been done, though. Virgil and Patrick got into a fight, and Logan and Remy had to break them up before either of them ended up with broken bones. He had never seen his friends as angry as they had been on that day. Patrick had told him that they hated him, that he was nothing to them, that nobody would ever love him except for him. But on that day Virgil stood up for Patton, as did Logan, Remy, and Thomas. They were there for him even when he was covered in bruises and scars, when he was at his lowest point in life. 

In that moment of clarity he realised Patrick was only hurting him, while his friends respected and loved him. But the months he spent hearing “your friends hate you” from his ex were still haunting his mind. Even after he broke up with him, he couldn’t shake off the idea that one day his friends would abandon him because he was always so sensitive. 

As he got in front of his room, Patton realised that his new roommate would probably be inside. After all, it was his room too. He couldn’t let the other see him like this, not on his first day here. He had no doubt that Virgil would eventually tell his brother about what happened, so there was no use in hiding from him now. He really didn’t want to go to his own room anyway. 

He walked to the next door, but he hesitated. Even though Logan will find out about this, what was the use in disturbing him right now? He knew the other man liked to have some quiet time for himself sometimes, so wouldn't it be rude to interrupt whatever he was doing? 

Patton didn’t notice at first that the door had been opened, as he was lost in his thoughts. But when he did, he saw Roman standing in the door frame, and Patton’s mind just couldn’t process the information. He knew Roman was there, but he was unable to react. He felt a hand on his arm -  _ Logan’s hand,  _ he realised - that guided him inside. The grip was gentle, but firm. He was finally able to move voluntarily when he heard the man’s worried tone.

* * *

 

“You can take off your headphones now, Virgil, I know you’re not listening to anything.” said Remy with a sigh. 

Virgil did as he was told, throwing a guilty look at his friend. Even though Remy was just one year older than him, he had more authority over everyone in their group than anyone else. He was a natural leader and it was hard not to see him as one. 

“Can you tell me  _ what the hell _ was in that pretty head of yours when you brought you-know-who up?” he asked. “I’m not saying you didn’t have a point, what I  _ am _ saying is that you could have made it without mentioning that demon.” He said all of this calmly, trying not to scare his friend. He was already feeling horrible about the whole thing. 

“You know damn well there was nothing in my head when I said that,” Virgil laughed sadly. “I’m sorry you had to get in the middle of it. It’s not fair to you, man.” 

“Damn right it’s not! But it doesn’t mean I’ll let you idiots fight each other.” Virgil smiled a bit at the endearing insult. “Can I give you some advice, V?” 

“No?” 

“Too bad, sweetie, cause you’re getting it either way! You need to tell Patton how you feel about him. If you keep it inside you don’t only hurt yourself, but you might snap at him  _ again,  _ and I know you don’t want that.” Remy’s serious face shifted into a mischievous smile. “Besides, if I have to witness  _ one  _ more time the lust in your eyes when you look at Pat’s ass- Hey! Don’t hit me, you purple racoon!” he yelled when Virgil hit his shoulder to stop him from talking “You do that one more time and I’ll give you permanent smokey eyes, girl! Don’t try me!”

“ _ Don’t try me blah blah blah! _ ” Virgil mocked Remy’s voice, but stopped hitting him anyway. He was feeling better now than he did before, but he knew he would still have to face Patton and apologize. 

“Let’s go to him,” the older man said. “If Roman’s there I’ll take him out for a walk. Oh, don’t give me that look, I’m not gonna murder him!” 

“I’m not worried that you will  _ murder _ him, if you catch my drift,“ winked Virgil, getting the biggest eye roll Remy was capable of. 

The two men got out of the car and Remy locked it, following Virgil upstairs.

* * *

 

“Patton, what happened?” asked Logan, trying to stay calm. It was useless though, since dozens of possibilities were going through his head now. “Why are you back so soon? Did something happen to Virgil? Remy? PATTON, SAY SOMETHING!” he yelled. 

Roman watched as Logan was slightly shaking the distressed man. He must have known that was not helping, right? But apparently he didn’t know, or maybe he didn’t care in that moment since he seemed to think something happened to his brother and his friend. 

“Take it easy on him, Specs, can’t you see he’s been crying?” he said, and before Logan could snap at him, he turned to the Patton and addressed him softly. “Are you okay there, buddy?” 

Patton’s reactions seemed to come back to him, as he started smiling as wide as he could. He hoped it looked real enough. 

“Of course I’m fine, Roman! Why wouldn’t I be? Oh, silly me, my head was in the clouds and I didn’t realise you guys were talking to me.” Every word he uttered hurt him. The happy voice didn’t mirror how he was feeling on the inside at all, neither did his words. 

Roman didn’t buy it. He knew a fake smile when he saw one, and his heart was breaking for Patton. He had been away for less than an hour and his genuine happiness was completely gone now, replaced by a poor copy of it. 

“Patton, why are you back so early? Where are my brother and Remy?” asked Logan again, more collected now that he had time to calm down. He didn’t appreciate Roman’s nickname, but the other showed more common sense and compassion than he did, so he let it pass for now. But he was still worried about the other two. 

“Oh, don’t worry, Logan! They are perfectly fine. We decided we didn’t want to watch the movie after all, so we came back.” said Pat, still smiling. 

Logan let go of the breath he was holding. Virgil and Remy were safe, that was good. But Patton obviously wasn’t. He was aware that he didn’t possess the best interpersonal skills, but he would be blind not to notice how miserable his friend looked. What exactly happened on that car ride? 

As if on cue, the two men entered the room. Virgil and Remy had already been in Patton’s room, but even though the door was unlocked, nobody was inside. They knew their friend wouldn’t wander far in his state, so they expected him to be with Logan. But they didn’t expect Roman to be there as well. Virgil wanted to give him a murderous look, but Patton’s hurt expression softened him up, so instead he threw himself in the man’s arms whispering apologies over and over again. Patton buried his head in the crook of Virgil’s neck and started crying silently. He tried to keep the tears from falling, but if his friend was hugging him it meant he wasn’t mad at him. Patton was overwhelmed with happiness over this discovery, but also with the negative emotions he had been going through before he walked through the door. He was safe now, though, and nothing else mattered. 

Roman watched the scene with a warm feeling in his chest. Whatever happened between them earlier, they were going to be okay. He couldn’t help but smile at the cuteness of the two men. He was, however, brought back to reality when he heard Remy whispering in his ear: “Let’s take a walk, pretty boy.” 

He followed the sassy man out of the room and down the stairs. It probably wasn’t wise to go on a walk with a man whom he barely knew, but the rollercoaster of emotions he had been through in the last hour exhausted him so much that he was now on autopilot. 

“So, what’s your deal, sweetheart?” asked Remy, leaning on a wall. Apparently, for him “a walk“ meant a short trip one floor lower. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Playing hard to get, I see,” laughed the man, taking off the sunglasses. He reserved that gesture only for special occasions, like intimidating people. He was aware how his very light blue eyes could be threatening if he used them right. “Look, girl, if you want to be a part of the group you gotta share.” 

“Who said I want to be part of the group?” said Roman defensively. 

“Oh,  _ please _ . I saw how your pretty eyes light up whenever you are in the same room with them. Besides you were probably already screwing Logan before we showed up.” 

That sent Roman into a coughing fit. He knew he was into the nerd man, but actually go as far as to-  _ Oh, my goodness, how the hell am I supposed to react to that?!  _ he asked himself. 

Next to him, Remy was having the time of his life. He wanted to see if the tough appearance of the other man matched his personality, but he was right to think it was the opposite. He caused the poor fool to blush intensely and cough his guts out just by implying anything happened between him and Logan. 

“Easy, tiger, I was kidding! It’s obvious Logan was the one who screwed you…”

“Stop it,” pleaded Roman, his voice strained from the coughing. “For the love of god, just stop it.”

“You’re no fun, pretty boy,” Remy whined jokingly. “But seriously, if you want to be our friend, then you need to tell me about yourself.” 

Roman raised his eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that they needed your approval to befriend people. Are they at least paying you to be their bodyguard? Or you do it because you can hit on very handsome men like myself?” 

“Fair enough. But be careful with that silver tongue of yours, girl. It would be a shame to ruin your pretty face if you hurt any of them.” said Remy, his voice lower towards the end. “See ya’!” he said suddenly way too loud for Roman’s ears, and then he left. 

_ What a weird guy,  _ Roman thought.  _ I like him.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always, feel free to leave a comment to tell me what you think, and if you have any questions or if you just want to, you can send me a message/ask on tumblr @shit-happens-bitchachos.


	5. First day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Cursing, slight physical violence (let me know if there are others I should add)

For Roman, the first day of college didn’t go as planned. He thought he would make friends immediately with his classmates, but most of them were too shy for more than small talk, and those who weren’t - well, let’s just say that every class has its arrogant and pretentious individuals. But that didn’t take away from his excitement of finally studying something that he was passionate about. He knew it wouldn’t be easy though, but where would be the fun in an easy quest, right? 

Even preoccupied with his classes, Roman was still thinking about the events that occurred the day before. This morning Patton looked much better than the last time he saw him, so he decided not to intrude in the man’s life. If his roommate ever felt like he could trust Roman, then he will open up on his own volition.

The one Roman wanted to know more about was Logan. Even though he only met the guy yesterday, he was intrigued. At first, he seemed cold and rude, but the soft look in his eyes when he received the book was worth a thousand words. So was his smile, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Roman found himself doodling glasses and neckties on the margins of his notebook during the class. Focused on his own thoughts, he jumped in surprise when his phone vibrated in his pocket. 

_ Patton: Hey kiddo! Wanna eat lunch with us in an hour?  _

Roman was confused. Why were they inviting him to eat lunch together? They barely knew each other, and he didn’t really make the best first impression.

_ Roman: Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude, I’m basically a stranger to you guys. _

_ Patton: You won’t be a stranger anymore if we get to know you better! _

_ Patton: But you don’t have to come if you don’t want to _

Roman considered it for a minute. On one hand, he would get the chance to be accepted by the group. On the other hand, however, maybe only his roommate liked him, and now he was forcing the others to be nice. Oh, what the hell, how bad could it be? At least he will see Logan. He texted Patton that he will join them for lunch, and then resumed his doodling with a small smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

It was such a great day! Patton was so happy nobody would have questioned it if he started to glow. Roman accepted his invitation to eat with him and the others, and he was sure they would warm up to him eventually. He knew Remy was pretty much okay with him, and he would have to be an idiot to miss the fact that Logan was into him. The latter was constantly asking questions about Roman, pretending it was pure curiosity. 

But Virgil… He was the one who didn’t like Roman at all. Patton knew it was because of Patrick, but Roman didn’t seem to be like him in any way. They barely knew each other, but he couldn’t ignore the worried look he gave him the other day when he saw how distressed he was. Patton was pretty much aware that Virgil’s protective behaviour was more due to his crush on him than pure friendship. He had known for a while about it and he wasn’t indifferent to his friend either, but Patton thought the anxious man deserved someone better. A relationship with him would have meant to worry Virgil every time he had a depressive episode. To keep him from finding someone better…

“You okay there, Pat?” asked Virgil, getting his friend’s attention.

“Oh, of course I am, kiddo!”

“Patton, I’ve told you before, I’m n-”

“-not my kiddo, I know. But you’re so adorable I can’t help myself!” said Pat, hoping the blush on his face wasn’t too noticeable. He should be more careful with these compliments, he didn’t want to lead Virgil on. Fortunately for him, his friend didn’t notice his blush because he was too preoccupied to hide his own. It helped that they were walking, so looking ahead instead of looking at each other was acceptable. 

“Shut up,” mumbled Virge. He needed to change the subject. “Did you text the guys? Are they coming?” 

“Lo and Rem are coming, and Thomas can’t make it today. But Roman said he’s coming, isn’t that great?” he beamed. 

“Roman?” asked Virgil confused. “Wait, tell me _ you  _ didn’t invite him. Oh, c’mon, Pat! We barely know him, what if he’s a jerk?” 

“Now now, kiddo, he’s my roommate, I can’t just leave him out, can I? He’s not that bad, I think he’s very nice.” 

Virgil had to swallow so he won’t say something stupid again. Patton said about Patrick that he was a good man too, and look what happened. But this time Virgil was more vigilant and he will kick Roman’s ass if needed. 

The two men saw their friends sitting at a table not far from them. They barely had the chance to sit next to them when a guy they knew too well stopped at their table. 

“Oh, look who I found! But where’s Thomas? He finally ditched your sorry asses? I’d do the same.” said the man with an evil grin. 

“I think it is in your best interest that you leave us alone, Patrick,” said Logan on such a cold tone that it could have frozen hell itself. 

“Or what, nerd, you’re gonna say mean words to me? My heart’s already breaking just thinking about it,” he mocked. 

Remy was about to let Patrick know exactly what’s gonna happen if he doesn’t leave, but before he could say anything, someone else interrupted him.   
“Hey, guys! What’s happening?” asked Roman.

“You’re Patton’s new roommate, aren’t you?” said Patrick focusing his attention on Roman. “Thomas knew when to run. I’m sorry you have to put up with them.”

Roman felt that something was terribly off with this guy. His smile looked more like a smirk than a genuine one, and he was insulting his roommate.

“Fuck off, dickhead!” snapped Virgil, looking like a wild panther ready to strike. 

“Aww, how cute, you’re trying to protect him. Is he your bitch now or what?” snapped Patrick right back. 

Roman felt his blood boiling. Who did this guy think he was? It took every ounce of strength and patience to not punch this jerk in the face. He had to teach him a lesson. Calmly, he extended his hand to Patrick. 

“I’m Roman. And you are?” 

“Patrick,” the other man said, shaking Roman’s hand. That’s exactly what Roman wanted. In just a couple of seconds he managed to catch the other’s wrist with his left hand, twist his whole limb, and pin Patrick’s upper body to the table, making it impossible for him to escape.

“I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but I don’t think there’s anything nice about you,  _ Patrick,”  _ Roman whispered in his ear. “I’m afraid I have to agree with Virgil over there. You should fuck off.” He kept the man pinned to the table just a couple of seconds longer, then released him and pushed him away.

“You’re making a mistake, Roman. They’re… nobodies - and liars! Is this who you want to be associated with?”

Roman shot him a death glare. He took a step closer to Patrick, knowing how intimidating his height was. “I’ll take my chances, but thanks for your concern,” he said, then turned his back to the angry man and sat down at the table right next to Logan. Patrick was smart enough to leave right away. 

“What was _ that _ , girl?” asked Remy, sipping from his Starbucks cup. 

“I am terribly sorry you had to see that, I just got really mad. He was being an asshole and I just- “  started Roman, but he was interrupted. 

Logan coughed, finally able to snap out of the shock of seeing Roman immobilize a grown man with his bare hands in just a couple of seconds. He had to admit, he didn’t know if he was scared or attracted to that. “I believe,” he said, “that nobody at this table thinks that horrible human being didn’t deserve it. I assume Remy was curious as of where did you learn that technique.” 

“Oh…” said Roman, realizing just now how close to each other they were sitting. He didn’t seem to be bothered to have his personal space invaded now. That was progress, right?   _ Wait, he asked me something,  _ he thought. “My mom. She was a detective, and she taught me a lot of self-defense moves.” He smiled a little at the memory of training with his mom. “She was a total badass,” he added. 

“Was?” suddenly asked Patton confused. The short man had been so quiet since Patrick showed up at their table that Roman almost forgot he was there. 

“Pat, buddy-” said Remy, making a ‘don’t ask about it’ motion. He saw Roman’s expression when he mentioned his mom, and he knew all too well what it meant. 

Roman knew he didn’t have to answer that question if he didn’t want to. But he had a feeling he wouldn’t be judged or pitied by these guys.

“No, it’s fine,” he said with a sigh. “She died about four years ago.”

He expected they would react like everyone else had reacted when they found out:  _ Sorry for your loss  _ or  _ It must have been hard for you,  _ stuff like that. All of them meaningless to him. They were just empty words that people said automatically when they heard this kind of news, and they didn’t change anything. But for the first time in his life he heard the reply he needed. 

“Here’s to Roman’s badass mother!” said Remy, raising his cup. The others followed his lead, raising their water bottles. “She must have been hella hot if she gave birth to  _ this _ .” he gesticulated at Roman, who laughed clueless to Logan’s growing jealousy. 

Logan cleared his throat, causing the others to look at him. He blushed at the realization of his own uncalled-for discontent and tried to cover it up by changing the subject. “I believe that we all have classes in about half an hour, so I suggest that we finish our food. Is that satisfactory for everyone?” 

Roman snorted next to him, murmuring “nerd”, but neither he or the others protested. 

“Aren’t you eating, kiddo?” asked Patton looking at his roommate. 

“Oh, I… I forgot to pack any food this morning, I guess I’ll eat as soon as I finish my classes for today,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.  

“That is unacceptable!” Patton said, changing the tone to an authoritative one. “I will not have you starve, not on my watch! Here, have some cookies!”

Roman was shocked at the sudden change of attitude, but he accepted the cookies nonetheless.

“Oh my god, Patton!” he exclaimed after taking one bite “These are so good, where did you get them?”

“I’m so glad you like them! I baked them myself,” he said, smiling happily. 

Roman’s first day didn’t go as he expected. It went so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious about the technique used by Roman, here's the link: https://youtu.be/tZdREznibnU?t=188
> 
> Also, thank you for reading this story, I got more readers than I expected (I'm blaming Vic for that). As always, comments are more than welcome, don't hesitate to give me constructive criticism.


	6. Enemies to… friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been a while, don't shoot me! xD I am really trying to focus on the relationships in this fic, platonic or romantic, so if you think the fic looks like it's pulled in different directions then you're right. And you have no idea what I have in store for you, so bare with me and I promise you some crazy stuff is going to happen in future chapters!
> 
> Warnings: cursing, mention of a loved one's death  
> Let me know if i should add any more warnings. And enjoy!

_ You need to tell Patton how you feel about him.  _

Remy’s words were echoing through Virgil’s mind. Theoretically, it was the right thing to do. Practically… not so much. Anything could go wrong if he confessed his feelings to his best friend. He could get rejected, Patton would think he was a creep and will run away from him as far as possible, or even worse. Given Patton’s history with partners, he could scare the shit out of the guy. He could take being hated by Patton - barely - but having him afraid of him? No way, not gonna happen. If he just keeps his mouth shut, everything will be alright like it has always been. 

But seeing Patton every day while keeping quiet about his feelings hurt like a bitch. There were moments when his longing got so bad he was one step away from launching himself at the man to kiss him. Only an accidental brush of their hands was enough to send shivers down Virgil’s spine. 

Yesterday’s events didn’t make it any better. His first instinct upon seeing that Patrick asshole was to jump on him in rage and punch his stupid face until he couldn’t feel his own hand. But Patton had silently put his hand on top of Virgil’s on the bench - maybe because he was scared and he needed something to keep him grounded, or maybe to keep his friend from starting a fight. Virgil thought it was a combination of both. No matter how bad Patton felt he always took care of others. Which is why he always got his heart broken every time. 

Oh, god, he didn’t consider the possibility that - in the absurd case Patton liked him back - he could do something bad and break his heart. No, Virgil would never forgive himself for that. 

_ You need to tell Patton- _

“Would you shut the fuck up?!!” yelled Virgil hitting both sides of his head with his hands. 

“I didn’t say anything. Is there a problem, brother?” asked Logan.

Logan was already back from the library? Time had passed so fast Virgil didn’t notice it was already dark outside. Why did he go there anyway? School just started, it wasn’t like they already had homework to do. But this was Logan, he never ran out of books to read, the nerd. 

“Just, you know… The usual.” Virgil sighed.

“And, by ‘the usual’ you mean Patton?” Logan raised a hand to stop his brother from uselessly denying the obvious truth. “You’ve been even more anxious than usual, which leads me to believe you are still thinking about what Remy advised you.” 

“Ugh, I regret telling you about that,” he sighed. “But it’s not that easy, I mean… There are so many things that could go wrong. Besides, how could I tell him after yesterday? It’s not fair to him, he still needs to recover after the things that shithead did to him.” 

“I still think you should tell him.” 

“Oh, since when are you an expert in relationships? Last time I checked you were still pining after Roman, looking at him like he put the moon in the sky.” 

“That is preposterous!” protested Logan. 

“Your mom is preposterous,” replied Virgil bored.

“Virgil, we have the same mother.” 

“That is not the worst thing I have to say about her, given that she abandoned us in the hospital one day after we were born.” 

“Brother, we talked about this before-”

“I know, I know, maybe she had a good reason to and all that jazz. But I guess she did us a solid because we ended up in a pretty good home. By the way, did you talk to our dads?” 

“Yeah,” said Logan frowning. “They fought. Again.” 

“Shit,” whispered Virgil. 

He didn’t understand why his parents fought so much lately. Virgil had always idolised their marriage, the way they solved even the most difficult problems or misunderstandings. But ever since they visited him and Logan at the dorms last year, they started acting strangely. Did he do or say something wrong? Did his dads hated Patton, Remy, and Thomas? That couldn’t be, his friends had been very polite and friendly when they met the couple. 

His head hurt. Too much was going on at once, and Virgil had always had problems dealing with more than one stressful thing at the same time. He needed some fresh air to clear his head. 

“Where are you going?” asked Logan, as Virgil took his hoodie in one hand and was about to open the door with the other. 

“Dunno. I’m gonna walk around campus for a while,” he replied and left the room. 

 

* * *

 

Roman looked at the flower crown in his hands. It was already pretty dark outside and he couldn’t delay it much longer. He had to get this done today, no matter how much it hurt him that he couldn’t be in his hometown for it. 

“Hey, Pat,” he spoke “I’m going for a walk. Do you want something from the store? I’ll be a bit late, but…”

“Oh, you’re sweet to think of me, kiddo, but I don’t want anything. Stay safe, okay?” he beamed at Roman. 

“Sure thing,” Roman answered, sitting up from his bed. 

“Have fun with your date!” added Patton.

“Wait - date? What are you talking about?” he asked confused. 

Patton looked at the flower crown and then at Roman’s puzzled expression and blushed in shame. Obviously they weren’t close enough to share personal things, and he probably made the other uncomfortable by mentioning it. 

“Oh, nevermind, it’s none of my business. Forget I said anything,” he said in a rushed manner, afraid of making the other angry.

“Ohhhh, you mean this,” realised Roman, raising the flower crown to eye level. “It’s a thing I do every year on mom’s birthday. It’s silly, but I want to do it.” said Roman nervously. He suddenly felt like a kid again. 

“Then don’t let me distract you! Just make sure you don’t stay out too late, could be dangerous.” 

Roman chuckled at the parental concern his roommate was displaying. “Will do, Padre,” he said before closing the door behind him.

By the time Roman realised someone coming was from his right, it was too late. The other man crashed into him and took a couple of steps back, startled, then tripped over thin air and fell. He started cursing violently. 

“Oh my god, Virgil??? I am so sorry, I didn’t see you until it was too late-” said Roman extending a hand to help the other man stand. Virgil slapped it away and got up by himself. 

“Ugh, of course it’s  _ you _ ,” he groaned. “Can’t have a fucking minute to myself without you butting in, can I?” 

“Whoa, easy with the attitude there. I didn’t mean to do it, you were the one who should have watched your step anyway, but I still apologised. I know you don’t like me, but that’s no reason to-” 

“For fuck's sake…” mumbled Virgil passing Roman.

“Oh, very nice, now you’re ignoring me, real mature!” snapped the taller man, following Virgil down the stairs. “What the hell is your problem?” 

“My  _ problem _ is that ever since you came here you are all up in my space! That’s my fucking problem!” yelled Virgil. “You’re Patton’s roommate, fine, but that doesn’t mean we have to hang out with you  _ all the damn time _ .”

Roman froze on the stairs. He knew Virgil’s words shouldn’t have hurt him like that, but in the last couple of days he grew fond of this peculiar friend group, and he hoped to be part of it soon too.. Being rejected so violently felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. 

“I never forced you to…” he said so quietly that it almost missed Virgil’s ears. Almost. Roman tightened up his hold around the flower crown, flattening a few flowers in the process, and walked past Virgil with his eyes gazing down. 

Virgil’s headache was even worse than before. He knew he shouldn’t have reacted so badly and said words he didn’t mean. His bad mood had nothing to do with Roman but he lashed out at him for no reason. It was true that he was still on guard in case he proved to be Patrick 2.0, but he never had a good feeling about the original version in the first place. With Roman, it was more precaution than anything else. 

“Roman, wait!” he shouted, jogging after him.  

“What, you thought of other ways to hurt me?” he replied bitterly. “Save it, I got the message.” 

“There was no message, you moron!” said Virgil trying to sound annoyed, but he was actually anxious that he couldn’t fix his mistake. “I’m not in a good mood, sorry I took it out on you,” he added softly.

Roman looked at Virgil in disbelief. Just a couple of minutes before the man was angry at him, but now he was apologizing and walking alongside him. “You must be in an awful mood if you just apologized to me!“ 

Virgil chuckled sadly, looking straight ahead. “You have no idea,“ he said. 

Roman wanted to ask more, but he chose to keep his mouth shut. He knew better than to force his luck with Virgil. Something was telling him that this was the most amount of opening up the other was going to do at the moment. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Virgil could have said he had something to do and go for a walk alone as he originally intended, but he felt somehow better having someone next to him. Also, it was getting darker every minute - not that he would ever admit he was scared of being alone in the dark. As anxious as he was, he still wanted to maintain his emo reputation. 

“What's with the flowers?“ he asked, breaking the silence. What, he was curious! “You got a date or something?“

“ _ Why _ does everyone think I have a date?“ whined Roman. “It's just a flower crown, maybe I just wanna go around the city wearing it! If I’m being honest, I'd look great in it.“ 

“You could have just said ‘no’, dude. Why do you have to be so dramatic?“ 

Roman checked Virgil out from head to toe with a critical look on his face. “Have you seen yourself recently? You look like a Disney villain.“

Virgil rolled his eyes and hit his shoulder playfully. The gesture warmed Roman's heart instantly and he was trying his best not to grin like an idiot. He didn't think Virgil would appreciate that. But this was a sign the anxious man was finally beginning to accept him, maybe even like him! 

“The crown is for my mom,“ he explained, his lips curled into a soft melancholic smile. “Well, not  _ literally  _ for her, obviously. But it's her birthday, and when she was still alive I always made one for her. I didn't stop even after she died.“ 

“Oh…“ said Virgil quietly. “So. What are you going to do with this one?“ 

“I was thinking of leaving it in a place she would’ve liked. Like a park. She loved nature so much.” said Roman sadly.

“Then you’re in luck, there’s one a few minutes from here.” 

Roman smiled gratefully at Virgil. This was the first time in four years when he didn’t have to do this alone, and he couldn’t be more relieved. He was finally making friends - real friends! Roman felt like he could finally be himself for a change. 


	7. Hold me thight (or don't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with another chapter for you guys! And I know, I know, it's been like forever since the last one, but it's here now!
> 
> Warnings: cursing  
> Let me know if I should add anything else!

Logan had always loved libraries. The peace and order he could find within their rooms kept him focused whenever he studied, and helped clear his mind when he had irrational thoughts. Today he found himself in the second situation. He needed to make some order in the chaos that was his mind.   
Lately, he had too many of those ridiculous reactions whenever he found himself in Roman’s presence, or when someone was teasing him about having a crush on the tall man. His face would heat up, his mind stopped working or, at best, he managed to say something defensive. What was about this particular individual that made Logan behave so unlike himself? 

As he walked from room to room, brainstorming, he realised something was disturbing the usual quiet of the library. The sound was distant and quite familiar. He was used to hearing crying students - mostly during the exam season. But he didn’t remember ever hearing them during the first week of school. Even the seniors chose to enjoy the syllabus week that came before the actual classes. 

He slowly walked towards the source of the sound. It appeared to come from a room that was not too frequented by students - which was probably the reason this person was hiding in there. Logan didn’t know why was he doing this, why was he going towards the crying person instead of away from them. He was not good at dealing with emotions - the best he could was calm down Virgil during a panic attack, and he had to research that too!

As quietly as possible, Logan entered the room. He didn’t want to startle whoever was in there. On second thought, this had been a bad idea from the start, he was invading a stranger’s private and vulnerable moment. He was ready to turn back before he was noticed, but a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. 

“Logan, is that you?”

* * *

 

From the moment he woke up, he knew this was one of his “good mood” days. Patton rarely felt like this - light, like nothing could ever bring him down. The colors even seemed brighter, the air fresher, and the covers on his bed smoother.

He didn’t have to go to class until later, so he took his time to make the bed, open the window, and eat a muffin he had made the day before (he still couldn’t believe he was allowed to have a toaster oven in his dorm despite it being considered a fire hazard; he suspected Remy had something to do with it). He distantly wondered if Roman ate something for breakfast before going to class. 

As he was about to go into the bathroom to take a shower, Patton heard a shy knock on the door.

“Hey, Pat, it’s Virgil,” said the voice on the other side. 

“Come in, kiddo!”

Virgil entered the room, not daring to make more than a couple of steps inside. It wasn’t like he hadn’t come here often - quite the contrary - but unless he was told to take a seat or something, he prefered to occupy as little space as possible. 

Patton couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped him. Sometimes Virgil knocked and entered the room directly, and other times he waited to be invited inside. But he  _ always _ stood as close to the door as he could, like he was trying his best to not bother anyone with his presence. While he was a little bit worried that his friend felt like that even after the many sleepovers they had in that very room, Patton felt so great today that he found Virgil’s behaviour endearing. 

“Virgil?” he said, smiling mischievously.

“Yeah?” 

“Catch me!” exclaimed Patton, launching himself at his friend. 

Virgil barely had time to comprehend what his best friend meant. He found himself instinctively catching a running Patton who clung to his body like a koala, with his legs wrapped around Virgil’s waist and his hands around his neck. The anxious man turned a deep shade of red as the other giggled in his neck. 

“Are you okay, Pat?” he finally managed to say, trying - and failing - to keep his voice from cracking. 

“I’m more than okay!” he shouted, causing Virgil to go deaf for a couple of seconds. “Now spin me!” 

“Um- okay?” replied Virgil confused, but he complied. He spun a few times, feeling awkward the whole time. He appreciated the physical contact, maybe more than he should’ve, but even for Patton this was unusual. No, not unusual, Virgil had seen him being all lovey-dovey with Patrick back when they were together - a memory that he hated with all of his soul - but Patton wasn’t like this with his friends.

_ Could this mean that Patton… No, that’s ridiculous, you idiot. He doesn’t like you that way. Maybe he’s extra affectionate today. Yeah, that’s it, nothing crazy like him actually liking you. Jeez. _

* * *

 

Roman didn’t know why he called after Logan. He was pretty sure the man hadn’t seen him from the door - he chose his spot carefully before allowing himself to let go of the emotions he hid on the way there. Part of him wanted to be left alone, but the other part was scared of being alone with his thoughts any longer. He needed to distract himself, even if it meant acting like he was alright. 

“Heya, Logan!” he said, his voice a bit raspy. “How you doin’?”

“Roman, are you alright?” asked Logan.  

“What? Oh, you mean the  _ crying _ ,” he laughed. “I was rehearsing this very emotional scene my teacher assigned me. I probably shouldn’t have done it in the library.” 

Logan frowned. He could tell Roman was lying to him, but how should he approach this problem without making the situation uncomfortable for both of them? 

“I don’t think that is the truth, Roman,” he said simply. “You seem too distressed to have been faking it. But I understand if you don’t wish to discuss the cause of your troubled state.”

Roman looked down, ashamed of being seen crying and lying about it. He didn’t want Logan to see him like this, not the man he had been crushing on from the moment they met. Logan didn’t deserve this, he deserved a strong knight in shining armour who would be there for  _ him _ , not the pathetic guy crying on the floor of the library. 

He heard Logan’s calm steps coming towards him, but he didn’t dare look at the man. He was afraid of seeing disgust in his eyes.  _ Why did I call after him, I should have let him leave… I’m an idiot,  _ he thought. 

“May I sit next to you?” asked Logan. 

Roman looked up in surprise. Was Logan offering his company even after seeing him like this? Was it out of pity, or was he genuinely trying to comfort him? His heart started beating slightly faster at the possibility that he hadn’t ruined his chances with him after all. 

Roman nodded and looked at Logan as he sat on the hard floor. Even though the latter said they don’t have to talk about what happened, Roman found the silence between them even worse than talking. He took in a deep breath. 

“I shouldn’t have applied for Performing Arts,” he said. “Just because I was in Drama Club in high school it doesn’t mean I'm any good.” 

“What makes you say that?” asked Logan curiously. 

“ _ I  _ didn’t say it, my teacher did. We had to do a scene from a play. He thinks I am wasting his time with my mediocre skills, ” he said sadly. In a quieter voice, he added: “He’s right.”

Logan looked at him in surprise. Did Roman really think so little of himself? Was all the confidence he had displayed just an act? One criticism and he was crying on the floor. Logan felt a strong urge to hug the man sitting next to him, which surprised him even more than Roman undervaluing himself. He rarely had those tendencies with Virgil, and he was his brother!

Nevermind all that. There was a more important issue at hand than his personal dilemmas. 

“Falsehood,” he said calmly. 

“What…?” Roman frowned in confusion. 

“You said your teacher was right to tell you those things. But he is wrong. There is no way you would have gone through years of Drama Club and not be talented.”

“But he is the teacher, he must know better than me what acting is all about!” 

“Don’t confuse status with knowledge and competence, Roman. Any idiot can be president, but it doesn’t mean he - or she - has the proper training,” explained Logan. “I know this particular type of teacher, I also came across one in my first year. Ms Huckleberry told me and several other students that we will never be astrophysicists because we are not smart enough.”

“And what did you do?” asked Roman with wide eyes, his own problems almost forgotten. 

“During the year I corrected her during the lecture every time she made a mistake - and it happened plenty of times. I soon realised she was severely unqualified to teach us anything, so I filed a complaint to the Faculty Board along with some of my classmates. She was fired soon after that.” 

Roman was perplexed. This man who looked like the type of person others would pick on - this man stood up to a teacher and won! He never felt so attracted to Logan as he did now. Apparently, he didn’t need a knight in shining armour to save him from danger.  _ Great,  _ he thought,  _ Now I’m both untalented and useless. Why would he even want to be with me - if he even is into guys!  _

“Yeah, but you’re so damn smart, Logan! I know we haven’t spent that much time together, but it would be hard to miss that,” he said, blushing a little at his own words. He had to keep himself from listing all of Logan’s qualities, otherwise he might end up making the other uncomfortable. Again. “Maybe I’m not as talented as I thought. Maybe it was a mistake coming here in the first place, I don’t know.” 

“You came here to learn, to become better. Your teachers shouldn’t make you feel bad for not being excellent on the first try. Some of them are doing it under the pretense of ‘toughening up” the students, but in reality they are just putting unnecessary pressure on their shoulders.” 

“Then maybe I should tell him I’m gay and I already am under more pressure than he could possibly put me under,” mumbled Roman bitterly. He didn’t realise the words left his mouth until it was too late. His eyes widened in fear.  _ Shitshitshitshit.  _

Logan felt his mind freeze. He couldn’t move or speak or react in any way to Roman’s confession. His phone vibrated in his pocket, removing him from his paralyzed state. 

_ Virgil: 911107 _

“I - I need to go. There’s an emergency. Um, goodbye, Roman,” he stuttered as he got up from the floor and left, leaving Roman feeling more miserable than before.

* * *

 

“Again!” laughed Patton. 

“No, Pat, I’m dizzy,” said Virgil. “I’ll set you down on the bed, okay?” 

“Pleaaase,” whined the shorted man, clinging harder to his friend. 

Virgil thought that, despite his protests, Patton would let go once he was set on the bed. But he underestimated his friend who, instead of unwrapping himself from the man, hugged him closer - which resulted in Virgil falling on top of Patton.   

Aware of the awkwardness of the position, the anxious man tried to put some distance between them, but Patton had a different idea. Even though his legs weren’t around Virgil’s waist anymore, his hands remained around his neck, and he was determined to not let go that easily. Patton felt braver than he had ever had in his entire life. Now that he had Virgil so close to him, his heart was screaming to bring him even closer. Slowly, he brought his hands from his neck to his face, cupping it gently in case he wanted to back away. 

Virgil’s brain was frozen. He felt Patton pulling his head towards his, and instinctively leaned in, not entirely sure why - it just felt right. He felt Patton’s lips against his own for only a moment before they separated. And that’s when the panic set it. 

What had he done? He just had to ruin everything in his life, didn’t he? He tried to get himself off of Patton as quickly as he possible. Patton was looking at him with wide, panicked eyes. Virgil couldn’t stay there any longer. He knew he should apologise and beg for forgiveness, but instead, he chose to run back to the safety of his room. He quickly managed to text Logan that he needed him urgently at their room. He was a fucking coward.

* * *

 

Roman managed to get himself off the floor of the library. His day couldn’t have been worse. His teacher basically told him he was a failure, his crush found him crying like the pathetic idiot he was, and he outed himself to said crush. Absolutely  _ nothing _ could make him more miserable right now. 

As he left the room, a barely familiar voice called his name.

“Hello, Roman!” 

“Go to hell, Patrick,” he responded. “I’m not interested in your bullshit. I thought I told you to fuck off. Are you stalking me or something?” 

“Oh, but I believe you will be interested in  _ this _ particular bullshit,” he said, ignoring the question. “All I can tell you is this: Remy is not who you think he is. Let me know when you come it your senses and realise who your real friends are.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

Patrick shrugged. Without saying anything, he turned around and left.


	8. Misunderstandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but i came back with a new chapter! I hope you guys like this one, and don't hesitate to tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is allowed. 
> 
> Warnings: slight cursing, assumed homophobia (but it's not actually)  
> Let me know if i should add other warnings.

 

“Virgil! Virgil, please, open up! I’m so sorry, please let me in!” shouted Patton, banging on his friend’s door. Virgil had locked himself in, and no sound was coming from inside. Patton was terrified of having violated his friend’s trust by kissing him without consent, but he was even more terrified of Virgil having a panic attack without anyone to help him through it. He could take Virgil’s contempt - it would hurt so much, but he deserved it. He just wanted him to be safe. 

Logan had seen Patton from the end of the hallway, and his worry only increased in intensity. What could have possibly happened in the few hours he was gone? And why wouldn’t Virgil let Patton in if he had an emergency? 

“Patton? What happened? Is Virgil inside?” he asked the questions in rapid-fire while struggling to find the keys to his room. Why did he always seem to misplace them when he needed them most? 

“I… Logan, I messed u-up so bad,” cried Patton, finally letting his tears fall. 

 

_ Too many emotions today, this is too much,  _ thought Logan. However, he had to keep it together for his brother and his friend, so he took a few deep breaths to relax.  _ In… and out. In… and out. Very well, I can do this. _

“Finally!” he yelled, taking the keys out of his bag. He turned to Patton with the intention of calming him down before entering the room - an agitated Patton would result in an even more agitated Virgil - but his words died in his throat as the short man all but snatched the keys out of his hands, unlocked the door, and basically stormed into the room. To their surprise, Virgil was not there. However, Patton’s desperation made his mind work fast and he entered the bathroom. There, next to the toilet, was a big ball of purple hair and black clothes barely resembling Virgil’s form. 

Patton immediately fell to his knees on the bathroom floor next to the shaking man, not daring to touch him. Fortunately, Virgil was not having a panic attack. Unfortunately, he  _ was _ crying and shaking like a leaf in the wind. Patton’s heart broke in an instant - he did this to him. He overstepped his boundaries and hurt the man he was in love with. He couldn’t come back from the immense mistake he had made, and now he had to live with it. Both of them did, and it was just  _ his  _ fault. 

Virgil, however, was not aware of what was going on around him. He heard the voices outside, but his own pain had drowned them out. He couldn’t believe he had kissed Patton when the latter was not able to push him away due to the position they were in. He didn’t mean to take advantage of his best friend, he didn’t even remember what had possessed him to lean in. That didn’t change the fact that he did. Virgil wanted the earth to swallow him for eternity. 

And then he heard the voice of the man he thought would never want to see him ever again. 

“I am so sorry, Virgil…” Patton’s voice was barely a whisper. He didn’t trust his own voice, and he didn’t want to cause Virgil any more distress than he already had. “You have every right to hate me now, and I will leave if you want me to. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. And apologise.” 

Virgil raised his head in confusion. What did he mean, he was sorry? How much kinder could Patton get, to take the blame for Virgil’s mistake? 

“Why would I hate you?  _ You  _ should hate  _ me _ !” he yelled, his voice cracking. “I was the one who-who ruined our friendship! I kissed you and I was so selfish!”

“Wh- No, Virgil! Don’t take the blame, I was the one who kissed you without even asking first, it’s my fault! I am so sorry,” said Patton frantically, barely keeping it together. 

Logan had started to lose his patience. He just wanted this whole situation solved, before he had a breakdown of his own. That would just be counterproductive. 

“So let me get this straight,” he began, voice harsher than he had intended, catching the men’s attention. “Earlier today you two spent time together, and at some point, you kissed. Is that correct?” he inquired. Patton and Virgil nodded. Logan continued, “And for  _ some  _ reason, both of you are under the impression the kiss was unrequited.” Again, they nodded, with blank expressions on their faces. 

No, he could  _ not _ do this. Logan was starting to lose it. This much cluelessness was getting to him in a very unpleasant way. He took in a deep breath, getting ready to yell at them both for being morons, but someone standing behind him spoke first, making the words die in his throat. 

“You girls should have told me you’re having a ‘coming out of the friendzone’ party! I can’t believe y’all didn’t invite me, such disrespect for your elders!” Remy exclaimed. “But not to worry, I am here now to save you from yourselves. Logan, darling, you look like shit, go sit.” 

Logan found himself doing as he was told and went to sit on his bed, like an obedient dog. As much as he hated being bossed around, he knew when to let others take the figurative wheel in order to maintain his own sanity. He hadn’t realised just how overwhelmed he had been until Remy came to his rescue.  _ Very well, I need to calm down. Breathe in… and breathe out. In - out.  _

“Alright, let’s solve this once and for all,” said Remy, taking his sunglasses off. 

To anyone, he seemed to be completely relaxed even in this stressful situation, but on the inside he had been freaking out from the moment Patton called sobbing, explaining what had happened. Remy was aware of Virgil’s very obvious crush on Pat, but until he heard the last part of the conversation he wasn’t sure what was the truth. Now he was finally able to breathe properly. 

“Virgil Sanders, do you like Patton Moore?” he asked, looking right into the man’s eyes to make sure he couldn’t pretend he didn’t hear. 

“Yeah, I do,” mumbled Virgil, after a few moments of pondering whether to lie or tell the truth. He decided on the latter. He couldn’t handle the pressure of lying to his best friend  _ and _ crush.

“And do you, Patton Moore, like Virgil Sanders?” 

“Of course I do!” 

Remy sighed, glad this whole charade was finally over. These two idiots had been in love with each other from the moment they had looked in each other’s eyes.

“Congrats, dolls, you are officially gay disasters. You may kiss the dumbass, or whatever.” 

Remy’s fond smile turned into a small frown as he turned around to look at Logan. He looked like he was on the edge of either crying or screaming. Neither was ideal. 

Without minding the two lovebirds on the bathroom floor, Remy went over to him and put a hand on his left shoulder. “Come on, brother, let’s go get some air. I’m gonna be sick if I have to stand their sexual tension for one more minute.” He winked at Logan and helped him stand on his own feet. Logan followed Remy’s lead, mindless of where they were headed. He didn’t even notice it when Remy took out his phone and sent a quick text. 

 

* * *

 

They arrived to one of their usual coffee shops. Logan had no doubt that Remy chose this one on purpose. It had always been his favorite, as it combined quality beverages and bookcases full of various novels for every taste. 

Once they chose their table, Remy went to the counter to order their drinks, while Logan picked a random book from the shelves and began to read. He was already on page 5 when Remy startled him by putting the mugs full of tea on the table. Logan realised with bafflement that he had not absorbed a single word from those pages. Instead, a single word that his friend had uttered was obsessively going through his mind. 

“Isn’t it like the hundredth time you’re reading that?” asked Remy as he sat down. 

Logan looked at the book. He apparently had picked ‘Romeo and Juliet’. “Not on purpose this time.” He frowned at the book. How did he not notice he was reading Shakespeare? Shaking the confusion out of his mind, he closed the book and put it back on the shelf. Taking advantage of the fact that his friend was sipping his tea, he spoke. 

“Remy, I want to ask you something. Well, it isn’t a question per se, I would rather call it an observation to which I will need your explanation.” 

“Sure, doll, shoot!” said Remy, setting the way-too-hot tea back on the table, as if it hadn’t burned his tongue. “Wait, am I in trouble?” 

“Wh- No!” Logan protested. “Why does everyone think they are in trouble whenever I want to ask them a question?” 

“‘Cause you are The Mom ™ of the group,” Remy offered. “Anyways, what’s the question?” 

“Earlier today you addressed me with an appellative you didn’t use before. You called me ‘brother’. I was just curious as to why did you choose this exact moment to call me that.” 

Remy took off his sunglasses and set them on the table with a defeated sigh. 

“I did? Well, that’s a shame.” He took another sip of his scalding tea. “The moment you guys think I care about y’all, all hell will break loose. You’re not gonna take me seriously anymore.” 

Logan took a moment to process Remy’s words and figure out his friend was being sarcastic. Well, his hypothesis was not based on solid proof in the first place, how did he even connect this random appellative - which is commonly used with friends - with an aleatory conversation between his fathers he had accidentally overheard. 

“I thought… Well it doesn’t matter, I was clearly mistaken,” he conceded. 

“Wow, you really are feeling bad if you just said you are wrong,” exclaimed Remy. “Don’t fret, my friend, I called for backup. Thought you could use a little bit of eye-candy, and he just arrived!” 

Logan looked confused in the direction his friend was looking. At the entrance of the store was Roman, clutching his bag nervously and was looking around, most probably trying to find them. It didn’t take him long to spot the two. 

As Roman approached the table, Logan looked at his friend with an expression that Remy would later describe as ‘gay panic’ on the group chat. What was he going to do now? Until this moment he had forgotten about the events that took place earlier. He could not believe he left Roman without an explanation after the man came out to him. 

“Hey, guys,” said Roman when he arrived in front of their table. Even though he had been invited, he wasn’t sure if he should sit down. He still didn’t know why Logan had reacted that way - well, he had a few ideas, but he didn’t want to assume anything - so he felt safer knowing he can just turn the other way and leave if he had to. 

“Uh-oh,” said Remy, looking from Roman to Logan and back to Roman. “What’s with the long faces, dolls? Did you fight or something?” He then addressed Logan. “Do you want him to leave?” 

“No!” shouted Logan, getting the attention of a few customers in the coffee shop. “I mean, that is not necessary. I…” Why was it suddenly so hard to form coherent sentences? “Roman, if you want to leave, I will not stop you. But I do owe an explanation.” 

Roman looked at Logan surprised. Of all the things, after leaving him on the floor of the library feeling like shit, he did not expect the serious man to say  _ that _ . But what if it was a trap? After all, he didn’t know him that well. 

“You know what? You lovebirds look like you need to solve this by yourselves. I’m gonna leave you to it, ‘kay? Don’t kill each other though. Byeeee!” said the extra man as he sat up, not before he had thrown a 50$ bill on the table. “Tea’s on me, babes.” And with that, he left. 

Logan looked at Roman, who was currently clutching to his backpack like his life depended on it. He couldn’t believe that such an intimidating man could look so small and scared. He also couldn’t believe he was the source of that. 

“Roman?” Said man looked down at Logan, not knowing what he should do. They were alone - in a coffee shop full of customers, but still - and to him, it felt like this moment was going to decide the fate of their relationship. A good part of his mind was telling him to leave, to run, anything other than sit down and talk. But he didn’t want to run, even if it meant he was going to get hurt. He was proud of being gay, and if Logan had a problem with it - well, then that was Logan’s issue, not his own.  

With this new found - and rather fragile - confidence, he sat down across Logan, looking straight into his eyes. He joined his hands on the table, bracing himself for what was coming. What he didn’t expect, though, was for Logan to brush his fingers delicately, and unsure of overstepping boundaries, on his wrist. He jerked back instinctually at the contact, but immediately regretted it as he saw the deeply apologetic look on Logan’s face as he retracted his hand and looked away in shame. 

“What happened earlier today… I am so sorry, Roman. I did not mean to behave in such an insensitive manner. I reacted rather poorly in the moment and I am afraid you misunderstood my reaction - not that I blame you for it!” he blathered. 

“That hardly sounds like an apology,” said Roman fighting the urge to smirk at how the tables have turned. “It just sounds like you’re sorry that you embarrassed yourself.” 

Logan looked puzzled for a moment before he realised Roman had just parroted back what  _ he _ had said when the tall man tried to apologise to him a few days prior. Unlike Roman, he let himself smile at the irony. 

“I deserved that,” he agreed. “But I do hope you will give me a chance to explain my actions. It is your decision alone if you choose to forgive me.” 

Roman looked pensive for a few seconds, staring intensely at the table. Even if he was going to be rejected by the man for being gay, at least  _ he _ was in control of the situation. Determined, he looked back at Logan. “I’m listening.” 


End file.
